Because of You
by HisBareFootCinderElla
Summary: "Because of you, I'll never stray too far from the sidewalk. Because of you, I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt. Because of you, I tried my hardest just to forget everything. Because of you, I don't know how to let anyone else in."
1. Preface

**Prologue**

As I looked around all I could see was broken glass, a hole that had been punched into the wall in front of me, feathers littering the ground, and pieces of furniture that had been knocked over.  
>I watched from the hallway as the man that I thought loved me, wheeled his suitcase towards the front door. I sank down the wall and held my knees close to my body, trying to hold myself together. He had closed the front door all the way and I knew he wasn't coming back after that. I heard my mom crying from her room upstairs. I would have gotten up to go and comfort her, but I didn't have the strength to face her yet. I still hadn't accepted the fact that he was gone yet. It felt like a nightmare, a nightmare that I just wanted to wake up from. I wanted to pinch myself in hopes that I would wake up and everything would be okay… but I knew it wouldn't work, so why even try?<br>I stood up and picked up the family picture that was on the ground. As I looked at it a tear drop fell from my eye and splattered on the glass. I turned the picture, wanting to slam the thing on the table so it would break into a million pieces, but instead I took the picture out from the frame and tore out the place where he stood. I crumpled it up and threw it into the trash can.  
>As the piece of picture fell out into the trash can I whispered, "I love you too daddy."<p> 


	2. The Sidewalk

**The Sidewalk**

"Bella." My mom said while pouring herself some coffee. "I'm being serious. I just want you to be happy. You're seventeen now, love-"  
>"I'm aware of how old I am, mother." I said, trying not to be too harsh with the tone of my voice. I didn't want to upset her.<br>"Tell me, Bella." My mom said, scrutinizing my face. Whatever she was looking for, she found, because she continued with what she wanted to say. "Do you even have any guy friends at this moment?"  
>I looked down at my hands that were folded on the counter. I twiddled my thumbs, and tried to pretend as if I didn't hear the question. I heard the ticking clock and it felt as if the seconds were purposefully lagging and telling me that I had to answer before too much time passed, so I decided to stall. "I can't be late to school." I leaped down from the counter stool and grabbed my back pack that was in the stool next to me. "I'll see you later mom."<br>"You better be prepared to answer me when you get home Bella Marie Swan."  
><em>Great,<em> I thought to myself as I threw my back pack into the passenger side of my car, _she used my whole name. I hate it when I make her sad…_ I put the keys into the ignition and the engine roared. I drove to school as slowly as possible, there were no cars around, there never were here in the little town of Forks. Forks, Washington wasn't the biggest town around and with that said, you could just walk everywhere. Cars weren't a big necessity here. Of course I could walk to school… but I hate rain. And it _always_ rained here; I had no appeal to getting my socks damp and my hair wet.  
>I pulled into the school parking lot, taking the first spot that I saw. Our school wasn't very big and therefor there weren't a lot of parking spaces for the students that drove. I climbed out of my car and regretted parking in the place that I had. I hadn't realized it at the time, but I had just parked next to Edward Cullen.<br>Edward Cullen was absolutely perfect. Well not to me, but to every single female creation at this school. And no, I am not over exaggerating. Even the women teachers fancy him. Every day before the first school bell rang he would lean against his car like a Greek god and just let every girl that pass him, gawk at him before class starts. I tried to always avoid walking past him because I couldn't help but stare, and every look that he got would just boost his already enormous ego.  
>But honestly, I didn't blame him. He <em>was<em> perfect. With his silky bronze hair that stuck up in random places, his perfectly aligned, sparkling white teeth, his muscular body, his beautiful green eyes and his style of clothing was just awe-striking.  
>I took a deep breath and started to walk past him. And with much success, I didn't look at him. Slightly smiling to myself, I headed in the direction of my first class with my arms crossed. It was drizzling a little bit so I pulled up my hood. I was just about to step on the sidewalk of the school when I heard my name.<br>The voice sounded velvety and smooth. I turned and looked at Edward who was just a couple feet in front of me. "Yes..?" I said warily. I was worried as to what he was going to ask me. The only time he ever talked to me was to make fun of me, or point out one of my flaws.  
>"Do you have the History homework?" He asked me with a slight smile playing at his lips. His expression was one of humor, as if he were about to start laughing at me.<br>"If you want to copy my answers, that isn't going to happen." I snapped at him.  
>He chuckled and ran his hand through his bronze hair and for a split second I wondered what it would be like to run my hands through his perfect hair… "I wasn't intending on doing that. But seeing as that you <em>are<em> the smartest person in that class, I was going to compare answers seeing as that we have half an hour before class starts."  
>"Oh…" I said stupidly. Edward Cullen had just complimented me. "Yeah, okay." I followed him to the lunch hall where there were a few people. They looked at us as we both sat down at the same table. It wasn't very often that you saw Bella Swan and Edward Cullen talking, let alone sitting at the same table. Well honestly, you never saw that.<br>I grabbed my History binder from my back pack and pulled out the Study Guide that was assigned to us the day before. He grabbed his out too with a writing utensil. His hand writing was absolutely perfect compared to my messy scrawl.  
>"How did you learn to write like that?" I gasped.<br>He chuckled as he read my answer to question one. "It comes naturally. How did you learn to write like that?" He teased.  
>I rolled my eyes and folded my arms across my chest. "Just get you answers." I snapped.<br>He stopped reading my answers and put down my piece of paper. "There's no need to get all snappish Bella. Stop taking everything so seriously, loosen up a little bit." He pushed me a little so I shifted in my seat so I was farther away from him.  
>He looked at me with curiosity in his eyes. His beautiful green eyes showed no judgment, or humor at all, but curiosity and sorrow. It was almost as if he knew in those few seconds that he looked into my eyes, all my secrets. All my secrets as to why I was guarded.<br>_Don't you dare walk away from the sidewalk Bella. _I scolded myself as I turned and looked the other way. _Don't you dare walk away from the sidewalk for someone like Edward Cullen. He isn't worth it.  
><em>Ten minutes of silence passed and I watched as the school got more populated. I paid no attention to Edward as he looked over our answers. "Okay." He finally said, sliding my paper over to me. "We have the same answers on everything." I turned to look at him and he grinned at me.  
>My head started to spin and he took my breath away. I breathed in slowly, trying not to make it obvious as to what just happened. My reaction was exactly what he was looking for. I stood up and in my haste to get away from him, my feet slipped out from under me. I tried to grab onto the chair to catch myself, but of course, it didn't work. I fell backwards onto the ground, taking the metal chair with me.<br>Edward immediately got down on his knees and started to help me up. He stood up and offered me a hand. "You need to be more careful Bella." He said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. There was slight humor in his eyes and I knew from that, that he was only trying to look like a gentleman from offering his hand.  
>Instead of taking it, I pulled myself up. "Maybe you shouldn't try to dazzle people so much." I said under my breath as I picked up the chair.<br>"You really shouldn't mumble." He scolded.  
>"You really shouldn't think that you can tell me what to do." I snapped back.<br>I grabbed my back pack and my Study Guide and walked away from him as fast as I could. Just as I was half way to my first class, the bell rang. _Thank God._  
>My first class was English 11 AP, it was the only class that I didn't have with Edward. He seemed to be in every other class of mine. But luckily, we sat very far away from each other in each class, aside from History. We had a seating chart in that one, and somehow, Edward and I ended up next to each other. We barely ever talked to each other of course, so I wasn't planning on talking to him today.<br>I sat down in my usual seat, taking my time, seeing as that we still had 5 minutes. Everyone seemed to come in at the same time. One by one they hung up their wet jackets and took a seat. Mike Newton, a boy with a round babyish face, blue eyes and spiked up blond hair, sat down next to me.  
>"Good morning Bella." He smiled at me.<br>I gave him a tiny smile, trying to be polite. "Good morning."  
>"Was Cullen bothering you again?" He asked with a slight frown.<br>"No." I said sharply. "He was just comparing our answers for the Study Guide in History."  
>"Oh." Mike said with a hint of sadness in his voice. "You looked annoyed."<br>"Well it is Edward Cullen." I said with a smile, I didn't like to see Mike sad, even if it was just because I had talked to Edward. What a stupid reason to get mad anyways, he had a girlfriend. He shouldn't get jealous when I talked to other guys. Mike and I were barely friends anyways. The only time we _really_ talked was in this class. "You and I both know that he doesn't really like me." I said playfully and nudge his shoulder.  
>He grinned. "Be careful what you say." He looked around the classroom, mostly the back of the class where Alice and Jasper, Edwards sister and her boyfriend, sat.<br>I nodded, but I didn't say anything. Mrs. Walters had just walked in. The class passed slowly as usual. Even though Mrs. Walters made English really fun, the class always seemed to pass slower than any other of my classes. And I was relieved when the second bell of the day rang. I walked to my second period, AP Biology, with Mr. Hodge.  
>I walked in, and I was the last one, but luckily, class had started yet. I made my way to my usual seat, next to Angela. Angela was my best friend, we've known each other since 2nd grade and we did <em>everything<em> together, of course we have Kate with us though. But as I was walking, someone took my seat. Emmet Cullen. I stood there and he looked at me. Angela looked at him and then at me and then did a repeat. She shrugged when I gave her a questioning look. _Great… now the only place left is next to Edward._  
>I sighed and walked over to the seat next to him. I didn't talk to him as I got all my stuff out. "So I heard that Mike Newton is jealous of me." Edward said. He wasn't looking at me though, he was looking at the front of the class. But from the side, I could see that he had a huge smirk on his face.<br>"What, can you read minds or something?" I snapped.  
>He rolled his eyes and looked at me. "Don't be ridiculous Bella." He snapped back. "Alice told me."<br>"She's at the back of the class!" I said, agitatedly. "How can she-"  
>"Calm down." He interrupted me. "Alice can hear everything. Trust me, it gets quite annoying."<br>"I am calm." I said through gritted teeth. "Mike gets jealous over the littlest things, so don't let it go to your head."  
>"He has every reason to be jealous." He said, so quietly that I didn't think I was supposed to hear it.<br>I looked at him in disgust. Mr. Hodge had just started talking, but he was so oblivious to everything, that everyone was still whispering to each other. "You have every reason to be jealous of him." I hissed. "Just because he might not be as good looking as you are, he's so much sweeter and kind hearted. You should be jealous of _that, _because those are two things that you will never have!"  
>I turned away from him and I could feel him glaring at me. Suddenly, I was only two inches away from his face. He had grabbed a hold of my face, but it was gentle. Even though I couldn't move my face at all, his hold was comforting, as if he was holding a precious gem that he didn't want to drop or break or crush in his grasp. "You think you know me so well, Swan. When the truth is… you don't at all. And if that is what you really think of me, then I will show you differently." His fingers were sending electric currents throughout my body. I felt slightly winded and light headed. What was he doing to me? He let go of my face and pulled his face away from me. I slowly sat up straight again.<br>Through the whole class I was more aware of Edward then I had ever been. I wanted to touch him again; I wanted to make sure that what I had just felt wasn't just my imagination. But there was no way that I could've touched him without him noticing and thinking that I was mental.  
>The rest of the period passed slowly. I felt more aware of everything in that class than I had ever felt before. I wanted to somehow make the clock go faster; I needed to get out of here. I couldn't think while I was sitting next to Edward.<br>It seemed like it had been at least ten hours when the bell finally rang. I quickly shoved my binder into my back pack and practically ran out of the classroom. I pushed my way through the huge mob of people that was getting bigger and bigger because of the classes that were just getting out.  
>I made way slowly through the crowd, letting them all pass me. Once I was the last one in the crowd I started to pick up my pace. "You forgot this." I heard his velvety voice from behind me. <em>How did I not see him? <em>  
>I turned around and gave him a respectful smile as he handed me my jacket. "Thank you." Was all I said and I turned around to start walking again. I made it to the lunch hall with him closely behind me. I weaved my way through the tables and chairs and people. I saw my usual table, where me, my best friend Kate, Angela, and Ben sat.<br>I sat down next to Kate who was talking to Angela about homework while pealing an orange. I didn't really pay attention to them, but instead I watched Edward as he sat down with Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper. I had never really noticed how attractive all of them were before now. Rosalie was literally drop-dead-gorgeous. Alice was very pixie like and she seemed to always be happy. Emmett was very big, not as in fat, but as in he had a muscle. And Jasper was very lean and he seemed happy too, just not as happy as Alice. And then there was Edward, the Greek god.  
>"Bella Marie." Kate said in a skeptical voice, and I snapped my head towards her. Angela was giggling so I knew they must have been talking about me while I was spaced out. "I know that face, and I haven't seen it in three years. So who exactly is it?" She said with excitement in her voice.<br>I looked down at my folded hands that were on the table. "I don't know what you're talking about Katie."  
>Kate didn't say anything; I knew that she didn't want to push me into telling her anything. After a moment of silence Angela finally said something, "She sat next to Edward today in Biology."<br>"There was nowhere else to sit." I said under my breath.  
>"Let me finish!" Angela said, exasperatedly. "Before you got there Emmett and Edward were sitting together. It looked like Edward was trying to convince Emmett of doing something. They were bickering under their breaths for like five minutes. Then you walked in and Emmett got up, grabbed his stuff, and sat down next to me."<br>I didn't know what to say, and I knew that Katie wasn't going to say anything before I did. "I don't know… what you're trying to say." I struggled at finding the right words to say.  
>"I've been suspicious about this whole thing for a while." Angela said. "I mean, you know how Edward is. He doesn't <em>really<em> ever talk to girls, unless it's Alice or Rosalie, and Alice is his sister and Rosalie is his brother's girlfriend. But he seems to always go out of his way just to talk to you, even if it is making fun of you. And then he makes Emmett sit next to me so that you would have no choice of sitting next to him. Obviously only sitting next to you in History, isn't enough for him."  
>Kate looked at Angela, and then at me, and then over at Edward. "I guess that explains why he's starring at you right now."<br>I didn't look over at him though; I didn't want to give him any ideas. "So what?" I said, grabbing the other orange that was on Kate's plate and pealing it. "Even if he does like me, it's not like there's any of chance of us being together."  
>Nobody said anything so I looked up at them. Angela had started to talk to Ben quietly, but Katie was staring at me and by the look in her eyes I knew what was coming next.<br>"Don't Katie." I said, once she had opened her mouth. "My mom and I already had this talk today; I don't need to hear it again."  
>The rest of our lunch passed in utter silence aside for Angela and Ben talking. As I watched them, the two people who I knew were utterly and completely in love with each other, I wondered how they did it… how they made it seem so easy to be with someone. Weren't they scared? Any one of them could just walk away from each other at any moment. But it was if they both refused to be scared of that idea.<br>And then it got me thinking… would I even be able to leave my safe zone, my sidewalk, just to be with someone that I loved? Would I be able to leave it, even if I wanted to..?


	3. The Safe Side

**The Safe Side**

This time, I made it a point to not be early to school. I was going to avoid Edward at all costs. Once I arrived at school, I parked as far away as I could from him. Despite the fact that we only had 10 minutes left in class, Edward was still leaning against his car. He kept looking around, as if he were waiting for something to come.

I hopped out of my car, and tried walking as fast as I could. I almost made it to the sidewalk when I heard my name. I turned around and got disappointed when I saw who it was.

"Why can't you just leave me alone?" I asked him. "Why is it so hard for you to accept that I don't want to be near you?"

He chuckled and held up his hand dangling my car keys from his middle finger. "Then I guess you won't be needing these?"

He started to walk past me with a smirk on his face. "How did you get those?" I asked while trying to keep pace with him.

"You dropped 'em. But if you don't want to even be near me, I guess you can't get them." He stopped and almost walked into his first class but I grabbed his arm, restricting him from going into the room.

"Edward, this isn't funny. Just give me the keys." I said calmly, holding out my hand.

"I will." He smirked at me, holding my keys in the air. "But only once you take back what you said."

I bit my lip. He smiled at me and I swear my heart melted. Pushing aside the horrible feeling in my chest, I jumped up and tried to grab my keys. But he saw it coming and held his hand higher. Instead of even touching my keys, I fell into him and he grabbed my around the waste, holding me so tightly but so gently. I couldn't have gotten away from him now, even if I wanted to…

"I'll make a deal." He said, his cool breath whipping around my face. I could feel my heart picking up and I'm sure he felt it too. My face started to get red and hot and I knew that my face was probably tomato red by now. "You sit with me the whole lunch period and answer every question that I have to ask for you. You must answer them truthfully and then… I'll give you back your car keys."

I didn't like his deal, but I was starting to get too comfortable in his arms… or… arm. I frowned up at him. "Fine." I said. "But it would be so much easier if you just gave me the damn car keys." I pushed away from him as hard as I could, trying to inflict some sort of pain upon him, but I didn't think it worked. I didn't look back as I walked away, even though I was dying too.

Edward led the way to the table that he wanted to sit at. I had told Angela everything in Bio that day and made sure that she would tell Kate too. I looked at them longingly and Kate smiled at me. I felt a little bit calmer as I turned to look at Edward who was scrutinizing my face. I felt very self-conscious and felt the blood rush to my cheeks.

"So the deal was that you would ask me questions, not look at me all the lunch."

He chuckled. He started to put his hand under my chin to lift up my face but I flinched away from his touch. He sighed and starred into my eyes. "You act like you're scared of me. Why is that?"

I pulled my legs up to the chair and wrapped my arms around them. I didn't answer for a while, but he didn't say anything. "That's because I am, if you're wondering why I'm not going to answer."

He nodded his head, but didn't pressure me into telling him why. Maybe he is different from what he seems like at first… "You don't need to be scared. I'm not going to hurt you anything. You always seem like you have this wall put up when you talk to me. I've seen the way you act with your girlfriends, but it's completely normal. But when you talk to any guy, even Mike, I see this wall. Am I just imagining things?"

I sighed and started to play with my charm bracelet. "No, you're not. Trust me when I say that I don't mean to. It just kind of happens."

"Don't you ever try to take it down?"

I nodded my head, but I didn't say anything. I continued to play with the charm bracelet on my arm, purposefully not looking at him.

"Have you ever successfully put down your wall?"

"Here I am, answering every question you have… and you ask me if I have ever successfully put down my wall?" I put my legs down and sat down in the chair properly and leaned closer to him. "You have no idea how this is for me."

He nodded his head. "What happened?"

I knew this question was coming up, but I was hoping to avoid it. I leaned back in my chair and starred out the window that was behind Edward. The rain drops that were trickling down the window reminded of that night, and I started having flashes of the day that I had tried so hard to forget.

"You don't have to answer." Edward whispered after about five minutes.

"My dad left." I told him without looking at him. I was determined not to look at him. "I know it sounds stupid… but every day before he left, he would kiss my mom tell her he loved her before he left for work and then he'd come and hug me… I had never seen anyone who loved their family more than my dad loved us. Then one day… my mom picked me up from school and I knew something was wrong, but I didn't ask. When we got home, my dad wasn't there. He was always there.

"I had gone upstairs once I got home and started to do my homework. About an hour had passed and I heard the door slam and the house shook. I heard my mom yelling… I had never heard her so mad and angry before and it scared me… Then everything went silent… I couldn't hear anything. I couldn't move. Then I heard my mom shriek and… and I heard something slam against the wall. I had never run so fast in all my life without tripping over my feet. My dad had thrown a chair at my mom." I took a deep breath, but I couldn't continue anymore.

"I'm so sorry Bella…" Edward whispered. I felt his eyes on me. "All this time, I've treated you so horribly. I'm so sorry…"

"It's fine. You didn't know." I said, but it didn't sound sincere at all.

Edward grabbed my hands that were folded on the table, this time I didn't flinch away. "Bella… I'm going to show you that not everyone's the same. I'm going to show you that sometimes… things are different."

The bell rang and he stood up, he didn't let go of my hand. He helped me up and I slowly slid my hand out of his. He grabbed my back-pack and started walking away. He turned around once he realized I wasn't following.

He smiled at me and motioned for me to follow. I was just a few paces behind him as we walked to our next class together. I watched him the whole time, and I wasn't sure if he was aware of it. He just kept smiling as we walked.

I had never wanted to leave the safe side more than I had at this moment. I had never wanted to walk away from the sidewalk before. And all for Edward Cullen… someone who was _way _out of my league. Someone who was too good for me.

_Stop it Bella. Please don't leave the safe side… just for him. _


End file.
